Be the Miracle

So this past Friday my mom tells me on FRIDAY NIGHT that Nathan, Elizabeth, and Jack are all coming in for the weekend. In typical Nathan fashion, no warning. I was scrambling to find time for them because I was shooting a wedding all day and night Saturday. Sunday I needed to edit and had another shoot Sunday night, then another Monday night, and ANOTHER Tuesday night. I needed everything edited before I leave town Thursday morning. That's around 3k pictures to go through. Of all the times for them to come, this had to be the busiest. Of course I made it work. We all got lunch together Sunday and let the boys play together after while Nate (and Ellis and Vance) napped. Then Monday we planned to all meet up in the mountains early in the morning. They dropped Nathan off at Elkmont and he ran 11.4 miles to us at Tremont. i packed all my fishing stuff like nathan told me to and after we met him we found a good spot to stay with the kids by the river. actually, it was the EXACT spot i learned to fly fish at 17 years ago. so neat to be back with my boys showing them the ropes. a few minutes into me fishing nate asked if i brought him fishing stuff…uhhh..nope. he never told me to!

So I fished for ten minutes or so and then handed all my gear off to Nate. I spent the rest of the time catching stuff with a net to show the kids and taking pictures because I always feel its the gift God has given me to use. Funny how things change when a terminal illness enters the picture. I can remember hitting Nathan in the back with a wrench (not that hard! Don't freak out people) when he wouldn't get off AOL and give me a turn in middle school. Oh and he never, I mean NEVER got shotgun. I cried to my dad when Nathan would take my CDs and make dad promise he'd buy me new ones if Nathan scratched them.  Now I happily give him any seat, any time, or anything he wants. But it got me thinking this week, isn't that how we should always live? Why should it take a terminal illness for us to adjust our views? Why don't I live so selflessly for others? Don't we all have a terminal illness? We're all dying. Some people just have a better idea of what might take their life. 

photo cred: mom

photo cred: mom

The day after our trip to the mountains, I woke up with a killer headache. Most likely from lack of sleep, I was completely running on fumes (and matcha.) I always try to see how long I can go without taking anything, not because I mind taking stuff but I like the challenge and always prefer my oils over meds. But after 8 or so hours I was laying on the couch. I had a shoot in an hour and something had to change. Simms asked why I was laying down and I said "my head hurts real bad buddy. I've had a terrible headache all day" and he said "you got cancer like uncle Nate mommy? I don't like cancer" 

 STOPPED ME IN MY DAMN TRACKS.  

No. No, I don't have cancer (that I'm aware of) and why am I complaining about one silly headache? I bet Nathan feels like this everyday and then he goes and runs 10+ miles LIKE A DAMN BOSS.  

Then tonight my devotional hits me with this quote: 

 "Never pray for an easier life—pray to be a stronger person! Never pray for tasks equal to your power—pray for power equal to your tasks. Then doing your work will be no miracle—you will be the miracle."- Phillips Brooks

And that's what I'm digesting today. That is how Nathan is living his life and that's how I want to live #fightlikenate